Perks of Being a Junior I

   I woke up to a soothing 5:30 a.m. alarm and instinctively tossed my hand in the general direction of my cell phone. Upon “sliding to stop alarm,” I realized that today is August 26^th. There are only 7 days left of summer. 7 days until the sh!t hits the fan. Once the shock of that realization wore off, I proceeded with my usual routine, dressing myself in burgundy flat-front chinos; a light-gray, finely checked button-down and a pair of black oxfords – my quasi-uniform.

            I find that during the summer, the days of the week tend to blend together; weekends lose their novelty. Today, however, is a Monday. That errant day whose name rings shrilly in ears all over the world. For me, Mondays mean a trip to Manhattan to prepare for the number one perk of being a junior: the SAT.

            Ah, the SAT. The letters stand for nothing whatsoever since their entity is no longer capable of fulfilling an actual title. The score you receive measures nothing besides how coachable your brain is. So why do we subject ourselves to this? The answer’s simple: because everyone else does. I often wonder if I am actually a viable student, or just a guinea pig running on a mechanized wheel set to a speed of the SAT, SAT II’s, AP’s, GPA, et cetera. My fears are allayed only when I pick my head up and look at the plethora of successful individuals who are also products of this abbreviation-obsessed mentality. My use of the work “plethora” only goes to show that CollegeBoard has executed a successful incursion into my brain and taken out all my defenses.

            Evidently, what was supposed to be an uplifting, cheery, “good luck this year”-post morphed into an oddly personal foray into my wardrobe tendencies, followed by an even weirder metacognitive rant regarding our deficient education system. With that disclaimer and with the following quote from my sagacious SAT instructor, I leave you to your summer assignments:

“Junior year will not be a bag of sh!t”